I've come to realize the people who I am closest to are significantly older than me. I have never felt that I can relate to anybody my own age and I feel that may be the reason why I've had difficulty being happy with the "friends" I've had throughout the course of my life. I've noticed the people around me who are my age tend to be...immature. Now, I know I can be immature at times, but for the most part I am told I am more mature than those of my own age. I've recently become good friends with someone who is 10 years older than me, along with the others who are 3-5 years older. I'm even good friends with those who are years younger than me (who I believe are quite mature for their age myself), but not those my own age.
I don't have many close friends, or many that I can talk to about serious matters and that suprises people...or so I'm told. It's not like I'm shy or reserved (like I used to be). I think I just select friends carefully these days to avoid getting hurt, or avoid being abandoned. I guess that could be the same thing.
I relate more to adults. I have better conversation with them. A lot of time I wish I were older so it wouldn't so so strange that I hang out with the young moms at my church. It's not just because the have babies! My time will come when I can be "one of them." I guess I ought to enjoy what I'm doing right now. People say these are the best days of your lives (college that is) but I'm not feeling it. I think the best days of my life will be when I have children of my own and I can watch them grow up.
I have to wait though. I must go through the proper stages of life, I suppose. I know I'm not ready for marriage or parenting, but I've just been longing my whole life for it and I can't wait.
Okay, this is the point you form an opinion about how crazy you think I am for wanting all of this right now and tell me I need to enjoy my life now. Ready. Go ahead!
2 days ago
1 comments:
Kaitlin,
Why tell you what you already know? Philippians 4:11 says to be content in whatever state we are in, but all of us struggle with that. It is also hard to accept that God's timing is always perfect. I did not get married until I was 36 and questioned God for a long time. But now I know Steve was definitely worth waiting for!
Then my dream of having children did not come true the way I thought it would, but no one can deny that I do have children!
So just keep your eyes on the most important relationship of all. Yours and God. He will always be the perfect friend. I wouldn't worry about what age your friends are as long as you feel you have friends.
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